26.01.10

i’m drunk again.

woohoo.

nightly. thou home. i drink alone. not alot of alcohol. but i purposely get it down fast. to get myself drunk.

im not happy. seriously. i know alcohol is my killer. but i don care. i love being drunk. i wanna tear. cos all the time i cant tear when conscious. damm~ bitch! freaking irritated with my own character. i know im not happy. money is really not everything. i can do well. but so? i’m not happy. not cos i have money. but…

i did not handle things well.

farking irritated!!! arghh!!!

cure my mood. cure my feelings. =D

10.01.10

the date today is really nice huh.

realised in life. there are REALLY many times your one decision can change many or maybe even everything else.

I made mine a couple of times wrongly. and i kinda regretted them. Or rather many times regretted them. I’m one harsh, rush, impulse person. I have the superbly high tendency to make hasty decisions at many times in life. I’m not saying thats me, thats my character. With good warnings, and precautions from people whom I care, and care for me, I’m willing to make the change, and try to think before indulging into anything. I’m not refering to my relationship now. Cos I’m really happy with him.

I’ve made anoother decision today to salvage things. I want to make you feel better. I want not to hear from others that “she is not as happy as before”, or thingss like “when your laughter is gone, her laughter also submerges”. I really put myself responsible for all these. I’m the cause. I know. I’ll change if possible.

A fully packed week ahead. I’m escaping from City life, first to a mini “honeymoon”, enjoying life and quiet moments with him. Then back in the morning to go out, have fun, set goals for the upcoming life!

I’m trying to make sure that I’m only gonna be bothered with myself, and my life. Caring too much may not be a good thing. And I meant it seriously!

Whatever comes, happens, Thanks people for everything!!!

*hugs*

merry christmas

eil.kris.hoting.meishan.xinghui

191209

last weekend of emo.

either i continue emo and leave, or i’ll buck up and work again.

just like they always say, make it or break it. tell me ba.

i just realised that i can stare in blank or empty space for hours, not moving, not making a single sound/noise, and worst of all, donno where my thoughts are heading to. i’m lost. finally. in life. ha~ this is a biggest joke to me.

i’ll just flow/float/fly with my thoughts, with my environment, with me myself and i.

wave to me when u look up into the air. *wave*

16.12.09

guilty. guilty. guilty.

tears. im so afraid of tears. seriously.

i cant cry easily when conscious~! but nope. i’m not saying i salut to those who can.

its my fault for jumping into a decision so soon.

it wasnt easy on my part. somethings i’ve put in effort, time, and heart. to pull out wasnt easy. there are times when i just wanted to turn over and looked at u, and say smth, but i held back. it was hard. times when i say take care of yourself. it was hard. there are times when i think yah, there are better people who can take care of u. it was hard.

im not blaming anyone for not thinking in my position, cos i made that decision. but i’m just saying it was hard.

how i take u guys, i dont think there’s any need for me to explain.

i can be an extremely good friend, at the same time, putting myself into a position that i cant choose is the worst option for me too.

i’ve admit, i tend to think too much. but thats me. wad can i do abt it? let me know.

haix. i’ve already got work and family to manage. i hate to manage more things. i cant handle them as well as u guys do. thats for sure.

wadever it is. leave me outta the troublesome thingy. i’ll just be someone who is there, yet “not there”. alright?

happy birthday weiming

bro and me.

111209

stupid ass keeps yanking away. irritating! wasting my time!!!!

I freaking wanna go do smth else. my right lower jaws hurts big time. arghh. donno is lack of sleep or tooth really gone soon.

“worried for mi” =) thank u!!!

10.12.09

ms is sitting right beside mi. talking n yanking around. noisy. one week of busy work. rather donno how many weeks of work. I’m tired le. but money wise. I’ll still chiong!!! heex!!!

money here I come…………….

071209

pushing ur limits. then you’ll discover your limits are actually bounderless. =)

november twentysix

I’ll fight till I can no longer do it!!

画沙 – 周杰伦 袁咏琳

午后的风摇晃枝桠 抖落了盛夏
我对着蝉认真说话 在对你牵挂
玩风琴就是爱瞎闹 堆积着无暇
我跟着站在壁沙岸 让你放不下

这风景如画 院子里画沙
等最美的晚霞 等故事长大

用手中的流沙画一个你呀
才说过的永远 我们一定不会擦
我的青春开始在喧哗
因为大声说爱你 而沙哑

用手中的流沙轻描着你的脸颊
也答应说好的未来 全部会重画
许过的承诺我脚步会在期待
因为我爱你呀
挑上脸 挑上花 有你的记忆干燥成瓶中沙
傻傻的 还想着你滴滴答答
擦美丽的指甲 喝你泡的茶
原来幸福可以这么优雅

爱过你的风沙 我也一样值得你爱
管他风怎么刮 管雨就怎么下
回头过去原来 别说傻
回头不说一次 值得吧
我爱上这泪光 问你会不会爱我

这种景如画 院子里画沙
等我们的童话 等誓言落下

用手中的流沙画一个你呀
才说过的永远 我们一定不会擦
我的青春开始在喧哗
因为大声说爱你 而沙哑

用手中的流沙轻描着你的脸颊
也答应说好的未来 全部会重画
许过的承诺我脚步会在期待
因为我爱你呀
用手中的流沙画一个你呀
才说过的永远 我们一定不会擦
我的青春开始在喧哗
因为大声说爱你 而沙哑

用手中的流沙轻描着你的脸颊
也答应说好的未来 全部会重画
许过的承诺我脚步会在期待
因为我爱你呀